In my 30-something years, I've had several best friends. In succession. Of course, I havn't spoken to any of them in years, I probably wouldn't recognize them if I saw them on the street, and I wouldn't know what to say. Some of these friendships sort of petered out- we each changed and slowly just stopped finding reasons to talk to each other. Several of these friendships ended a fiery, catastrophic death. Of course now I look back and think that those friendship-ending-disasters really weren't that bad and really shouldn't have affected a true friendship.
I havn't had a best friend in years- since freshmen year in college (Of course, my husband is my best friend now and hopefully forever, but I am talking about girlfriends here). But what I do have are a lot of good friends. These are people that I may not talk with for weeks, or even months, but I can still count on to be there when I finally pick up the phone or send an e-mail.
One such person is my friend, K. K has been a big influence on my life- it is because I went out with her one night that I met my husband. It is because of her that I started blogging. I am happy to say that she has had a positive impact on my life.
However, one area where I can still learn from her involves etiquette, and timing. For example, although she lives all the way in california, she still manages to get me my birthday and christmas gifts on time. With me, however, it always seems that Christmas and other holidays just sneak up on me. I often have the gifts well in advance, since I love to shop. It is the packaging them up and sending them out part that causes me such difficulty. Sometimes fate just steps in; I remember one time when I had boxed up a year or so worth of birthday and christmas presents, addressed the box, and left it sitting in the living room to send out the next day. And I swear, I would have sent it out the very next day- except my dog ate it. This is the absolute truth. My dog, Lucy, gets separation anxiety. As soon as you leave her home alone, she tears apart whatever she can get her teeth into, most often the very thing that will p**s you off the most. She tore into that box, and destroyed half the things in it. I can't remember now if I finally gave up or actually replaced everything- K might know, if she keeps track, but I doubt it.
When she actually does receive a gift from me, K. is also really good about saying thank you. After she had her baby, baby K., I sent her a small edible gift basket. She called to say thank you, and also wrote a thank you note. A week after baby K. was born, I had my daughter Cosette, and K. sent me a very comfy nursing nightgown- something I had been thinking of buying but never got around to doing. I immediately thought to myself... call and say thank you RIGHT NOW. Then I looked at the clock and thought that with the time difference it might not be a good time. That was 6 weeks ago. No, I havn't called yet. I am also not very good at making phone calls. Such a simple thing to do, and yet I- well- I don't. So, does this count?: K., THANK YOU, it was very thoughtful, especially in the middle of post-partum, what-the-heck-do-I-do-with-this-baby, sleep-deprived, I-am-nothing-but-a-milk-machine new mommyhood. I love it.
The wonderful thing about K. is, however, that she is a really good friend. So she forgives me- has never even mentioned it, as a matter of fact- and keeps on making me look bad by being so on the ball come holidays and important occasions.
Thanks, K. I'll learn, eventually!
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