Post Partum Depression by Proxy

After Juliette, I went through 2 stages of post partum depression. Immediately after she was born, I spent a good 2-3 weeks crying at everything and nothing. Part of it was due to raging hormones, part of it was because of my complete ignorance over how to take care of this new being, and most of it was mourning for the carefree (selfish) life I had lost. Willingly, of course, but you don't really realize what you are giving up until you are in fully in the throes of caring a tiny, helpless, hungry- poopy- tired- cranky innocent little baby.

A few months later, things had finally settled into a routine, which at first was a good thing. But then I got depressed again, at the monotony of that routine. I tried to explain to Greg that I needed him to intervene- if he could take over the bedtime ritual once a week it might save my sanity. He tried, for a couple of weeks, but he was so inept at the whole process that it turned out to be easier to do it myself. Hmmm, he is a smart person, in hindsight I wonder how much of that was an act? Anyway, at the time, I don't think he fully understood the depth of my desperation.

Fast forward to now.

I was looking forward to that emotional release after Cosette was born- it is a little refreshing to be able to cry and cry and cry with abandon. However, sadly, it didn't happen. Furthermore, I've come to love our bedtime routine, and really enjoy the time I spend with my two children. I guess I've adjusted!

But not Greg. He is now going through his own episode of post partum depression. With the second baby he is much more involved- by necessity. He is finally feeling the full weight of frustration that comes when trying to soothe a 2 month old who can't tell you what she wants. He still hasn't learned the hard, hard lesson that the adult has to accomodate the children, not the other way around. So what if it is the finale of a great movie? So what if you have been trying to cut the lawn for 2 hours? So what if you need to go run 10 errands? The kids aren't interested in movies, or chores, or errands. They want to eat! They want to play! They want their diaper changed or their hands washed or their toys assembled!

I am sypathetic, I remember what it was like. I try to tell him that this too shall pass. We will wake up one morning, our kids will be in college or somewhere out in the wide wide world, and we'll look back with nostalgia on these times. In the meantime, he has to just learn to get through them.