Pride: The First Deadly Sin

Greg picked up his car today. After a quick stop at the bank, I drove him to the Porsche dealer. On the way, I gave him a brief lecture- the mom in me couldn't help herself. No talking on the cell phone while driving. Don't drive too fast. Wear your seat belt. And BE CAREFUL. Before I drove away, I watched him walking in the front door, looking the part in his brand new finely tailored suit, expensive shoes, and Tumi briefcase. All I can think is "Porsch-a porsch-a porsche-a" and "I'll look good in that car driving it to a spa for the weekend." (hey, it's only fair.)

Of I go to work, leaving Greg to his new toy. Later, I hear how the rest of the morning went- his first morning as a Porsche owner.

As Greg drives down the highway the rain has stopped and the sun is shining. He is ecstatic. The car is amazing. As soon as he exits the highway, he pulls over to put the top down. Now, he can see everyone, and everyone can see him. He stops at home to pick up a few things that he forgot- and to show off a little to the neighbors. He was very excited to see their expression when he first drove home with his new baby.

He is in a rush though, trying to catch a train, so he pulls out and heads down the road once again. He enjoys the view, enjoys the fresh air, enjoys the car. He is a bit hungry, so he decides to stop at a deli and pick up a sandwich. There is a spot right in front so he pulls in, jumps out, and goes inside. He's just a little bit proud of himself; he knows he looks good and he knows his car really looks good- he (thinks he) sees people checking him out. He buys a sandwich and gets back in the car with just enough time to make it to the train station. He turns the key in the ignition. But... The. Car. Won't. Start.

He has to walk back into the deli and ask for a jump start. He confesses, "Man, I thought I was so cool in my brand new car, I just picked it up this morning, and now look at me. It's so humiliating." The guy politely responds "these things just happen." Greg drives home, having missed the train, and calls the Porsche dealer. They come with a new battery and then decide it isn't the battery that is bad, so they leave a loaner car and drive away with his. He watches from the window as his brand new baby disappears down the road. Now he's a little bit angry. Granted, it is a used car- a 2003- and the guys at the Porsche store claim this doesn't happen often, but you spend that much money on a thing and you don't expect it to break in the first hour.

The good news: the loaner car they left for him is the Cayenne, a family friendly vehicle that Greg thinks I should consider for myself. (Because when you are late to pick up the girls at daycare, going 0-60 mph in 5.2 seconds with a top speed of 165 mph is a necessity.) Did I mention that when he originally went to the Porsche dealer, that is the car he test drove?

The moral of the story: the only baby Greg should covet is this one: