There is a battle going on right now. As Greg describes it: there is a battle of the wills occuring between the females of the Raising Mommy household. And there is no end in sight, no forseeable way to end it, there is no exit strategy.
Right now, I am winning. Barely. But as soon as the girls learn about strength in numbers...
The thing is, I can put up with the screaming and whining. I just ignore it. Of course on a certain level it gets to me, but when it is not a matter of life and death, the crying just doesn't have the same resonance, the same sence of urgency. It is my husband who has a problem. It really hits a nerve with him. After all those years of listening to loud music, the tones that he can still hear are those that Cosette and Juliette hit with perfect untrained precision. That is why he retreats- the lone male cannot stand up to the will of the stubborn, proud female- even is she is only a year and a half old. When I am confronted with two tantrummy daughters and one husband who is about to have a mental breakdown, something has got to give. So technically, Greg is the weakest link. And you know what they say... you are only as strong as the weakest link.
Take for example Cosette's recent habit of waking at 3:00 am. She gets my attention by emitting the loudest, most piercing, hell raising shreak that stabs its way into my sleepy unconsciousness instantly. The first few nights I would go running down to her room, sure that she had fallen out of her crib, twisted a leg in the rail, or suffered some other catastrophe, only to find her standing in the dark, white knucles gripping the rails, mouth wide open, eyes squeezed shut, perfectly healthy, perfectly unharmed. And as soon as she saw me she would stop. I would hold her for a few minutes and then as she was drifting off to sleep again I would lay her in her crib before whispering "night night, I love you". And as soon as I would leave the room, she'd start screaming again. Once I saw her out of the corner of my eye as she went from drowsy and calm to upright and screaming in a flash. I was amazed that anyone could move that quickly. She certainly never does so when I want her to. If I walked back in, she would lay down and stop screaming. Out... and up. In... and down.
Well. After a few nights of this I was getting desperate for sleep. How, I wonder, did I survive those first few months when 2 hour stretches of sleep were the norm? Now, if she had the reclining lazboy chair in her room, I'm sure I wouldn'd mind snuggling with her for a while. But instead she has one of those glider rockers; when I chose it I thought about getting a lazboy but decided that the glider would be better because it was quieter and more comfortable for breast feeding... which it was. But I am not breastfeeding anymore, and Cosette is much bigger now so we don't fit as comfortably together in that chair as we used to. And I am not going to buy a new chair. So, I decided that I would have to deal with the crying. The next night, at 3 am, she started screaming. I got up and went downstairs to check on her- because I can't not check. I even picked her up and hugged her for a few minutes. Then I put her in her crib and left. She started screaming, but I just went back to my room, climbed in bed, and tried to ignore it.
I even succeeded. Until Greg started tossing and turning, and finally muttered "How long is she going to scream like that for?"
Once again I am foiled by the weakness of man. Crying baby... I was actually sleeping through. Getting kicked and jostled by a restless husband... no such luck.
Sighing, and I'll admit, cursing, I got up and went back in to Cosette's room.
An hour later, when I left her in the crib, she started screaming again.
By then I was exhausted. The only thing I could think of, the only solution I could come up with wasto ignore Greg, too. After all, if he had such a problem with it, he could get up and go deal with her. Or maybe get me a new lazboy.
The first night, Cosette screamed for over an hour. The second night... the same. It's been over two weeks now and we are down to oh, 10 minutes. We've even had two non-consecutive nights of non-waking. But something has to be done about my husband. If you think about it, he's throwing his towel in with the insurgency. Juliette and Cosette alone are only capable of short but intense attacks. I have a hard time holding up to Greg's reinforcements. But I am learning a new tactic.. divide and conquer. As in "Go to your room!" or "Sit in that time out chair for five whole minutes!" or, the most dreaded punishment ever... "If you don't stop right now, there will be no treats for three whole days!" That last one is a gem, because it is a punishment for Greg too. Not because he eats the treats himself, but because he is fond of bribing Juliette with them. As soon as the girls are dealt with, Greg becomes an ally again. And mommy reigns supreme once again.
