Here is the problem:
I have a nanny whom the girls adore.
A potential nanny, that is.
Why, you ask, as you scratch your head in confusion, is that a problem?
It is a problem because I am not convinced that I want a nanny, and yet somehow it seems to be that I have hired one.
Let me give you a little back story:
When Juliette was born, that first summer, my sister was my nanny, and what could be bad about that? Only one thing: when september came she had to go back to her real job as a teacher. Things worked out though, because a really good friend of my sister-in-law was looking for some extra income and had toyed with the idea of childcare. Allison helped bring us together, and Juliette spent the next year alternating between her grandparents and her (to borrow a term from KTP) daylady. Juliette loved daylady, and daylady's own two kids adored her right back. But after a while, that schedule was getting too difficult; daylady's kids would get sick, or have field trips, or something would come up that would require a change in schedule... plus, of course, Cosette was born and daylady didn't really have the space for two more kids. So, I found our current daycare. I was on the waiting list for 9 months before they had openings for the girls. Once the initial transition passed, I was overjoyed at the routine. Four days a week at daycare, one with the grandparents. In to work by 9... um, 9:30.... um 10:00 at the latest; and out by 5. They never close; and sometimes they take the girls even on their off day. Stability! And the girls love their teachers, and their friends.
But... that routine sometimes feels rigid. And rushed. And Juliette is always asking for a "stay home day". That breaks my heart, because she is only 3, and she already knows what it is like to want a vacation, to want to just stay home. I was lucky to have a stay at home mom, and I remember how much I enjoyed those summer vacations. I never wanted to go to camp, I just wanted to be home and do my thing. And I think... don't I want Juliette to have that too?
So when one of their favorite teachers was babysitting one night and casually mentioned that she wanted to quit the daycare and find a nanny position for the summer, before the school year started up and she needed to do her teaching semester, (she is a part time student of elementary education) it seemed perfect. I could give the girls a summer vacation! I could keep them in the daycare a few half days, so they could still see their friends; and then go back to full time in the fall.
Then, she called with good news... she had met with her adviser and realized that she had to take a few more classes, which meant she wasn't doing her teaching semester until the spring! Provided I accommodate her class schedule, she'd be available until the end of december! Her class schedule was easily accommodated since Juliette would be in pre-K 3 mornings a week and Cosette could go to her toddler room then, too.
So I talked to the director of the daycare. I explained the situation (omitting the fact that I would be hiring one of their teachers away from them)(something I signed some sort of papers agreeing never to do) and asked if they would be able to take the girls back full time in January. She said yes, of course, no problem.
But then, more good news! The nanny wasn't going to be doing her teaching semester in the spring, after all! She had talked with her advisor again and realized there were even more requirements to fulfill! She would be available through the summer of '08!
Before I knew it, we were discussing salary. And then wham bam thank you ma'am, it was done. I had hired a nanny.
And then... I thought to myself, I thought "Self, do you really want a nanny?" I thought "Remember how happy you were when you got into the daycare?" I thought "What happened to summer vacation?"
I also thought that this nanny either doesn't really know what she is doing in her academic program, or her adviser isn't very good at presenting a full and complete list of requirements, and either way, does that bode well for her organizational skills?
So here is my dilemma:
1. Do I want a nanny? My girls love her, she has a wonderful rapport with them. She seems reliable, pleasant, and easygoing. I can't very well get a better reference letter from the daycare seeing as I'm not supposed to be hiring her away from them. But more importantly is the security issue. At daycare, they are locked away and safe. Here, with a nanny, I'd be placing my girls well-being solely in the hands of a 21 year old female who is, well, not me.
2. What do I do about the daycare? I don't remember the penalty for hiring teachers, and I think it is a monetary fine. Which is problematic. But my real issue is that:
- I want to keep the girls enrolled, part time for now and eventually perhaps full time again, so I want to maintain an amicable relationship
- The nanny would have to pick the girls up at noon a couple/few days a week, so there is no way to hide that she is working for me. Would it be like rubbing it in their noses a bit? Advertising to other parents that they could get away with it too? Might they not be miffed at me?
3. Am I just being a wimp because I am a worrywart and because I don't want to confront the daycare director and admit to what I've done (although the reality is that the nanny sought me out, and originally she would have been quitting in the fall anyway and really, I'm a mother looking out for the best interests of her children so how could you blame me for not taking advantage when an opportunity like this comes my way?).(See, that was me practicing my logical and well reasoned arguments to present to the daycare)(The problem is that I still feel guilty).
Aaaggh. I'm so torn! Greg thinks it would be awesome, and that I am insane, and that if the daycare gives me a hard time I should just tell them to go to hell and enroll in the new really swanky looking place that opened up right across the street. I'd rather not do that, however, seeing as the girls are very happy where they are, thank you very much. So what do I do? I have a temporary reprieve here, because the nanny left me a voice mail saying that after further thought she needed more money.Truthfully I thought I was being a bit cheap at the rate we'd initially settled on, so giving her a couple bucks an hour more isn't really an issue. But I could pretend that it was an issue. It could be my graceful way out.
Do I want out?
Please, I am begging for advice. Even if you have never ever commented before, please give me some advice. If I don't like it, or if it is too mean, I can always delete it.
I know, I know, my life could be worse. Yes, I am insane. That's motherhood, isn't it? Everything is so complicated!
Help!
