Can you hear the violin playing in the background?

I love sitting in the dark nursing Cosette as she falls asleep for the night. I love when Juliette tiptoes in to give Cosette a kiss on the forehead, and then lets herself out, whispering "good night Cosette, sweet dreams".

I love sitting in Juliette's room reading her bedtime stories, explaining to her that "one more book then lights out" doesn't mean you read that one book 3 times. I love when Juliette starts talking about the things that she did during the day as I am tucking her in at night. I love how she turns her head up to give me one last goodnight kiss.

I love these little nightime rituals.

But lately, they seem like nothing more then an endless routine.

I yelled at Greg tonight, because he commented that he didn't want to interfere with my bonding time. I commented back that it irritated me when he said that, because it was just his excuse for not helping. I don't mean to pick a fight. I am just so tired.

You wake up in the morning and rush to get out the door and into work. You rush at work to get out the door and pick up the girls at daycare. You rush at home to get everyone fed dinner and into bed. You rush at night to get all the little chores done in the last hour before you finally, blissfully, fall into bed and get some sleep.

Of course, by "you" I mean "me" and sometimes 'me' feels like my whole day revolves around how fast I can get everything done so that I can go back to sleep.

I am grateful that I have so many people around to help me; they will probably all yell at me when they read this post for not calling on them for help. But these are my children, and this is parenthood, and sometimes the responsibility is overwhelming. It's amazing how one thing can be so fufilling and yet at the same time so draining.

I am going to go and give my two girls a goodnight kiss. I will gaze upon their quiet, peaceful faces, give a small prayer of thanks, then fall into my own bed ... and maybe tomorrow I'll start training Juliette to call out for her daddy when she wakes up in the morning.