Embrace the cookie.

I've been quite busy lately. You may have noticed a recent slump in my blogging because of it. That is because I've taken on a new project.

My new project is, ladies and gentlemen, me.

That's right. I've been working over myself. I've been working out religiously, tracking what I eat, and counting calories. So far I have lost 5 lbs, and I've got 6 more to go to get to my pre-childbearing weight.

It gets tiresome, but I do feel so much better that overall it has been a positive ride.

At the outset I told myself it was more about feeling good and looking healthy, and not about counting calories or developing an obsessive relationship with the scale. I had a college roommate who left for the summer after freshmen year determined to lose five pounds... and came back sophomore year anorexic. I mean that literally; it was hard to witness and even harder to stop.

But in order to keep motivated you need to have goals, so I set some:
1. lose 10 lbs
2. feel good in a bathing suit (cape cod vacation coming up soon!)
3. Get my skinny jeans on again.

In order to know you've lost 10 lbs, you need to step on a scale occasionally. And in order to really lose the weight, you need to start watching what you eat.

My first vow: no liquid calories. Embrace diet soft drinks!
My second vow: allow myself a treat now and again. A girl has to have a cookie or some ice cream sometimes.

I signed up to a website that helps keep track of my daily caloric intake and exercise. It told me that "Our estimate is that you may consume about 1,194 calories a day to lose one pound per week." Uh, yeah. That is not very many. However, if I burn 300 at the gym then I get to eat 300 extra; hence, my frequent excursions to the gym.

The first few weeks went very well and I lost 4 lbs pretty smoothly. Then I hit a bump. Weeks went by and I couldn't seem to lose any more weight. It was quite demoralizing. On the other hand, my clothes fit better and I felt better. Still... AAAGGHH.

Then one day I went to the gym and I'd broken through! I'd lost .8 lbs more, and I was past the hump!

And I am motivated again.

Two other things that help:
1. full time nanny for the summer
2. boss on vacation for four weeks, me sneaking out to my aerobics/Pilate's/yoga class at 4 or 4:30 as often as possible.

The downside is that whenever I eat something I mentally tally the calorie content. I went to Au Bon Pain for lunch today and when I plugged '1/2 an Arizona Chicken sandwich' and '1 Toffee cookie' into my calorie counter I discovered I had ingested 584 calories!

584!

That is almost exactly half of my daily daily allowable intake!

That's a lot more then my normal 300 or so that I get when I enjoy my Lean Cuisine lunch. (And despite what my mom thinks, I do enjoy them. Maybe I've just gotten used to them, but there are quite a few varieties that I think are actually pretty tasty).

So I'm off to the gym once again. After all, there are only four more days until I will be laying on the beach in my new bikini. Well, maybe not a bikini- yet. That'll be next summer.

I just fear that I'll never be able to look at a cookie the same way again, all innocent and carefree. Oh, I'll still eat the cookie. And I'll enjoy every little bite that much more!