Juliette was all tucked into her bed. I leaned over, stroked her forehead, and gave her a kiss. "So, Juliette, tell me something. You have a new music teacher, right?"
"Yes."
"Do you like her? What's her name?"
"Yes. It is Ms. X. It is a funny name."
"It sounds Spanish. Is she nice?" Juliette nods. "So, what do you do in music?" Juliette is silent. "Tell me, what are the rules of music class?"
"You sit like this" Juliette gets out of bed to demonstrate sitting cross legged.
"And if you have a question what do you do?" Juliette raises her hand. "And if you need to take a minute to think about things, where do you go?"
"The thinking chair."
"And when you are in the thinking chair, are you supposed to be quiet and thoughtful and sit still?" Juliette nods. "So, do you do that?" Juliette nods again. "That's funny," I continue, "Because your music teacher called me today and said you weren't sitting still, that you were moving around and playing the drums and not following directions." Juliette is wide eyed and has stopped sucking her thumb, and suddenly gets up and runs out of the room. "Juliette, where are you going?" I shout out to her.
"I'm going out here," she cries, "Because I don't want to talk anymore."
"Juliette, come in here please." Pause. "Juliette." Pause. "Juliette! I am going to start counting to three! One…" Juliette slowly inches her way back into the room. She is huddled around her blanky, sucking her thumb, and very upset. "Juliette, I was very surprised to hear that you weren't following directions. Is there something wrong?" Juliette climbs onto the chair and is silent. "Is something making you unhappy?" Silence. "Because if something is bothering you, you can tell me or you can tell your teacher." Juliette is silent. "Otherwise, you need to follow the directions and behave." Juliette is crying by now.
"Mmmmm." She whines. She is trying to distance herself from me, curling into the chair.
"Your teacher is going to call me again after your next music class, and I want to hear that you were behaving this time." Juliette has worked herself up, now, and is crying and upset. "Give me a hug." She reluctantly allows me to hug and kiss her. "Everyone has a bad day every once in a while, OK? I love you."
Juliette is silent for a minute, then softly asks "Mom? Mommy? What would happen if you got to "Three"?"
"Hmm. Well, if I counted to three and you still didn't do what I said then you would get no TV for three days." Juliette cries out louder, and I continue, "So it is a good thing I didn't get to three, isn't it."
I get up and walk out the door. "Goodnight, sunshine, I love you." Juliette sniffles and doesn't respond. I close the door and walk downstairs in search of my wine glass.
4 comments:
Dang girl, you're my role model
I know sometimes it really does drive you to a glass of wine.It will be worth it.Great job.
(Hey look how great you turned out.)
Mom
Hey Tina,
This comment is not about this post. (Though I echo the sentiments that you're doing a great job!) I was just trying to leave a comment on your Raising Mommy Reads blog about The Help but it wouldn't let me for some reason.
Anyway, what I was going to say was The Help was just picked as our next book club read for November so I was interested to read your thoughts. I'll let you know what I think once I read it!
Tina - I SOOOO appreciate this post today. It sounds like Juliette and Jackson react the same way to being in trouble. I am oh so familiar to the look of shock, fear, discombobulation when my voice raises, I issue a verdict, or bring up something that he did wrong that I was no where to see but somehow knew about anyway.
Last night as part of our prayers, after multiple times encouraging the pajamas to get on, losing my cool a bit, tears and more tears, Jackson said, "God Bless Mommy to be nicer." I added, "God Bless Jackson to have better listening."
Said Amen, kissed his head, told him I loved him and went to my room.
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