I have a fear. I have many fears, in fact, because fear seems to come along with parenthood. But my biggest fear lately is that when my children leave the company of others (non related adults), these adults will roll their eyes and say "Phew, I'm glad they are gone. Can you believe how spoiled they are?"
This fear, I'm afraid, is slowly becoming a reality. There has been a very slow erosion of dicipline in our household, and I've decided that for my own sanity I can not tolerate this any longer. Plus, Greg inspired me last night when he sent Juliette to her room for whining and talking back to him. She was quite shocked, and had to be carried up, screaming for me to come rescue her the whole time. I didn't go. At least not right away.
As I see it there are three specific areas that need to be addressed.
1. Behavior. The whining and temper tantrums and answering back need to stop. I know that all kids whine a little, and all kids have temper tantrums sometimes, but it seems like we never have a conversation in a normal tone of voice anymore. To address this, my plan is as follows:
I told Juliette that there is a new rule. When she whines, or has a temper tantrum, I am going to send her to her room to be by herself for awhile, because no one likes to be around her when she behaves that way. When she talks back, or doesn't listen to instruction (as in: Don't hit Cosette! Don't draw on the walls with markers! Stop jumping on the furniture!) she will go into time out.
2. Eating. Juliette is at that age where she is very picky about what she eats. Sometimes, in the car on the way home from daycare, Juliette will complain that she doesn't like supper. Only, she doesn't even know what Greg is making for supper. This drives me crazy. The pediatrician says it is normal, and since Juliette seems healthy and does eat fruit and dairy and protein then I shouldn't obsess about it too much, and eventually she will start eating vegetables again if I keep serving them to her. So I am not even going to worry about what she eats so much as I am going to address the problem of when. To wit, no snacks before dinner; she has to eat what is on her plate and if she refuses, she doesn't get to eat anything else later; and along those lines- no dessert without supper. Of course, if supper is something new or different, she has to at least try it before she can have something else.
3. Bedtime. We used to have a really good bedtime ritual, but lately I have been lazy and instead of reading her books, offering her the option of watching one TV show up in my room. However, this often ends in a tantrum- she wants to watch another show or she wants to stay in my room. We are going to nix the TV option and go back to our book reading bedtime routine.
So, I am going to forward this post to my husband, who does not read my blog (don't get me started), to be sure that we have a united front. I am going to anticipate a period of crying and complaining. And I am going to look forward to a future where my daughter doesn't whine all the time, eats her vegetables, and reads me a story before bed. And when we leave someone's company they will comment with a smile "What lovely well behaved children they are."
2 comments:
Stewart doesn't read my blog either.
Good luck with all of that. I am taking notes.
Ahhh....I think that your daughters are not as spoiled as you think they are (but then again, I am biased) but I totally think that regardless, you are doing a good thing. I always think that classroom management is a lot like discipline so I'll say that probably the most important thing is to remain consistent. I say this to you as someone who doesn't always follow her own advice, and usually regrets it! :) Of course, it is easy to say you'll be consistent, but far more difficult to actually be consistent when you yourself are tired or have a headache or have a pile of things to do or....you get the idea! Good luck, you are awesome!
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