Hear me Roar.

My sister and mom came over Saturday night to babysit. When they arrived they immediately noticed that Juliette was running around stark naked. No, this was not according to my plan; she disrobed after I cleaned her soiled underwear, and decided she wanted to stay that way for the rest of the day. It turned out to be a long night, for them and for Greg and I.

No, we weren't out for a romantic evening together. We had to attend the annual Neighborhood Association meeting. We had to go because Greg is the treasurer of said association and was required to give a report on the expenses and budget. Since the association spent a large amount of money last year, he has been very nervous and was expecting a very large and vociferous turnout. So I went to support him.

The extra money that was spent went to pay for legal fees in a battle against a developer that wanted to construct a very large monstrosity of a structure on a very small lot in our quiet family neighborhood. The building, in fact, violated a number of zoning restrictions and should have never been approved in the first place (it pays to know people in town hall!). The association eventually won and the developer is now building some nice single family houses on the lot. While everyone agreed that it had been a battle that needed to be fought, no one was pleased with how much the fight ended up costing. Greg wasn't happy about it either; he works very hard and manages his finances very carefully so that we can live without a lot of bills and he doesn't have to worry about a lot of debt or making excuses to creditors, and yet he found himself having to do that very thing on behalf of the association. Neighbors who we had friendly relations with were calling him up and giving him a hard time. These guys used to be "in charge"; directly or indirectly they ran the Association. When work needed to be done on Association property they'd hire friends and pay their exorbitant prices without question; when one guy slowly extended his yard further and further onto the Association playground they turned a blind eye; in fact, if they were the governor, they'd have been arrested, tried, and sent to jail by now. These guys are unhappy because the new Board, Greg included, isn't bullied by them and doesn't go along with the cronyism. So over the past few months the Cronies have been plotting and scheming, going door to door and telling people that the board was going to raise taxes and that $10,000 was missing (did I tell you about Greg's new Porsche... haha, that should be funny but its not because some people actually began to suspect Greg) and the last straw came last week when our neighbor across the street sent the Board a letter accusing Greg of being secretive and dishonest. Bad enough to make such an accusation... bad enough to come from a guy that we considered a friend... but this guy- let's call him Mr. A. (for arrogant accusatory asshole) also sent the Letter to every single house in the neighborhood.

Well, Greg was very upset, and I too finally became very upset. I had been witnessing the scheming and plotting of our neighbors with disbelief, but I tried not to let it get to me. Until I saw the Letter. I told my husband he had to respond. I even drafted a letter for him in which I was extremely polite but kinda stuck it to Mr. A. But Greg was busy with- you know- work- so he didn't get the letter out before the meeting.

So now it is around 11:00 pm saturday night and we have been sitting in this smelly stuffy hall for 4 hours already. Everyone is being very formal. People- neighbors- who are always on a first name basis are addressing each other as Mr. this, Mrs that, Attorney so and so, Chairman, President, etc etc etc. They are following Roberts Rules of Order, which I know nothing about and find somewhat confusing, and they even have the attorney present to serve as the parliamentarian. Greg has given his report, explained the expenses and gone through the proposed budget for the new year. Being a smart guy, he enlisted the aid of his accountant, so his report is complete and accurate and dispels any misconceptions people had coming in about the integrity of the Board and their spending practices. But then there are the Cronies... who just keep on spinning, scheming, questioning, bullying. Mr. A stand up with yet another question. But it isn't a question at all, it is more of a statement. Mr. A. is commenting that "when the board talks to their attorney I think they are asking him question in a certain way, and they shouldn't ask their questions in this way, they should ask them in that way, because I think they are asking the wrong questions and blah blah blah blah blah..." accuse, complain, conjecture... Of course, Mr. A has never been involved in these conversations, so he doesn't really know what kind of questions are being asked, he doesn't know how they are being answered, and he really had no knowledge of the matter other then that which he has made up in his own head... yet he is presenting himself as if he know what he is talking about. He did the same thing in the Letter, while Mr. A. never refenced a single conversation that he and Greg had together, in which Greg went into great detail about everything, he did refer to conversations that Greg had with other people- people that do not include Mr. A.- as "evidence" for Greg's guilt. It's all hearsay and conjecture! So to hear him doing it again royally pissed me off.

I'm trembling with anger. My adrenaline is pumping, I can barely sit still. I raise my hand and the Chair calls on me. I'm not even really sure what I am going to say, but I have to say something. I mean, sure, all of us hold imaginary conversations in our head on occasion; but most of us remember that those conversations never took place. There is a problem when a person starts referencing these imaginary conversations as if they actually happened, and attempt to use them as evidence against another persons character.

I stood up and introduced myself and then said something to the effect of "This question is for Mr. A. Can you please tell us if you were actually a participant in these conversations that you are referring to? Because if you were then we will of course take your question at face value. But if you did not participate in these conversations then this is all pure speculation and I think you must withdraw your statement."

But that's not the best part.

Well, Mr. A started to respond. He restated his question- in the form of a question to the attorney about the nature of the conversations he has had with the board- "As Mrs. Raising Mommy requested."

Hooooo... that is the final insult. Mr. A. knows darn well who I am and congratulated me when I received my Ph.D a few years ago. So before the attorney could answer, I very loudly stated- and this is where it gets good- "That is Dr. Raising Mommy, Mr. A."

I never felt so happy to have that title as I did at that precise moment.

I am Woman, I am Mommy, I am Mrs. and I am Dr.

And don't you forget it.