I Heart Zac Efron; or, Regressing vs. progressing.

I meant to go to bed early last night, but instead I stayed up late watching Hairspray. I didn't think I even wanted to see that movie, so when I initially settled on that channel I figured I would watch it for a few minutes to wind down, and then go to sleep early.

Well, I got sucked in. I had to watch through the credits because through the whole thing I was trying to figure out who was that guy playing Link? I thought he did an all around great job, and when I saw his name in the credits I was even more impressed; I wouldn't have expected him to take on that role so well. Then I had to rewind and watch some of the dancing again. Then I had to watch the "Making of Hairspray" that followed and for some reason recorded on my DVR, in which Zac talked about his inspiration for the part being, obviously, Elvis Presley. Aww, what a cutie he is.

I remember when I first saw High School Musical and the hidden adolescent in me fell in love with that story. It made me realize that if I was fifteen again, I would be (a) totally crushing on Zac Efron and (b) totally dreaming that I got a part as a dancer in one of those musicals (too bad I can't sing). What fun!

Now I am just jealous... of those teenage years when life was so simple. It didn't seem so then, and I've probably blocked out all the teenage angst. It's interesting how your dreams change as you get older. Now, instead of dreaming about the cute boy and the in crowd and my future successes, all I yearn for is sleep, guilt free me-time, and my husband handing me a martini and urging me to relax with a good book in my new hot tub while he cleans the kitchen and takes care of the girls.

Ahh. Excuse me while I fantasize about that for a few minutes...

OK, I'm back. I think it is interesting that even while my dreams for today are still, sadly, equally unrealistic as those I might have had twenty years ago, they are also much less vague and grand. I think that is because when I was young there was so much I wanted; whereas now there is so much that I have. It reminds of something Charlotte said in the Sex and the City movie- which is the more appropriate drama of my generation (and yet equally unrelated to my reality)- when she told Carrie she had everything she wanted, and she is scared that something bad is going to happen to her because no one ever gets everything they want. I understood perfectly what she meant; I get that feeling myself sometimes.

Maybe that is how you know you've grown up and achieved success; when instead of yearning for more, you instead begin to fear that you'll lose some of all you have. And the strange thing is, on the surface it might seem that it is better to dream then it is to fear, deep down I know that this is the better place to be.