One day she'll thank me.

Juliette is attending summer camp for two weeks, "So you're coming to Kindergarten." It is only three hours in the morning, and I signed her up to give her a chance to familiarize herself with her new school and maybe make some friends.

Monday morning she woke up complaining that she didn't want to go, but while I was in the shower she got herself dressed. She never voluntarily dresses herself. So, I felt better, knowing that despite her complaints she was really kind of excited to go. Of course, once we got there, she didn't want me to leave her; so I stayed through group time (she later chastised me that it is called "Sit Down time" now) and waited until she seemed happily occupied in Art before making my break.

She wasn't happy that I left, but when I picked her up at noon she told me that she cried a little bit, but then she got brave and then she had a good time.

Tuesday was almost the same, except this time we knew the drop off routine, and I told her I couldn't stay for Sit Down time. I left her with one of the teachers, again she cried enough to make me feel a stabbing wound in my heart, but apparently within minutes she was happy and running around with the other kids. When my mom asked her what her favorite part of camp was, she thought for a minute and replied: "When mommy or nonna pick me up."

Oh, parenthood. This is one of those difficult things.. those things you do because you know, in the long run, it is good for your kids, even if in the short run it is difficult and painful.

One day she'll thank me for it. Or, she'll spend long hours on a therapists couch talking over her abandonment issues.

In the meantime, I'll just fix the image of the pure joy that lights up her face when she runs to me at the end of the day in my mind. That is one of the priceless perks of parenthood.